why don't you just shoot yourself in the head while you're at it. Would you like a gun?

sometimes it bugs me how heartless humans can be. You say nice things in front and you do the very opposite of what you say. Don't get me wrong, I think being hypocritical is not wrong, to some degree of course. Because nobody's perfect, we're bound to go against what we say one way or another. BUT YOU NEVER go overboard because once you do, you have absolutely crossed the lines.

What does being humane have to do with being hypocritical though? It's one thing when you say you love trees, let the whole universe know of the fact and yet you smoke and throw rubbish like you own the world, and another thing when you feel like the world is rotting and you need to do something about it, you do bits here and there even if you know you know you're not any better. You have to always, always keep yourself in check and not say things that you yourself do not think you're capable of doing.

When you do tell people you want to change, tell them in the humblest and honest way possible. something like "you know what, i've done some really messed up stuff, i think it's time for me to change, don't you think? i'll start slowly. one step at a time." You don't go telling people things like "I just had a freaking revelation. God Himself has spoken to me. I feel like i'm a better person, i feel good about myself. you should follow in my footsteps."

My theory about the whole thing is simple. I believe in one principle and that is "Never Say Never" because if you do say things out loud and end up not doing it, it would not only will you end up looking bad, but you have just gone against yourself. huh. Another thing about this is that when you are not capable of doing something, baik jangan buat je. not unless you're really determined to do it.

It's not a problem if you do want to tell people. but try to stick to it. And make sure that you do want to do it because of that thing. not to cover up some lame ass lie to escape liability. i have no respect whatsoever for people like that. especially if you are hurting other people in the process.

Please, if you want to, by all means, hurt yourself but keep it that way. DO NOT CROSS THE LINE AND DRAG OTHERS INTO IT AS WELL.

It's just wrong. It's devastating when because of your lie, people become miserable. Because of your lie, you make people have hopes and hold on to every single thing you say. there is nothing more disgusting than lying your way out of something that you think is an encumbrance.

So, the next time you feel like doing something out of your league, please, just keep it to yourself until you have fool-proof evidence to show that you have the right to brag. If you want to lie to yourself, it's your problem, don't lie to people just so you can pull your butt out of a mess that you created in the first place.

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You'll rise above. You are better than this.