One year on.

For some reason it's been a long week for me this week. I got to think about a few stuff. Mainly about priorities in life. For me to be thinking about priorities is something because if it was me a few years back, i would still be thinking about myself and my own needs. clearly disregarding the more important things in life. It used to be about fun and enjoyment back then. But reality has its own way of sinking in and i've gotten a taste of it.

I know i cannot be doing certain things anymore now. I won't shy away to say that I am a different person from who I was last year. Things have moved and changed rapidly that sometimes it's so hard to grasp it all. They tend to get hazy and confusing at times that i just don't know what to do. But even if I am taking baby steps, I know I am going somewhere.

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

Edgar Allan Poe

I can't afford to be a dreamer anymore. Life goes on even if you're on idle mode.I'm more comfortable being on my own nowadays. It helps me appreciate my thoughts better even if I don't voice them out as much.

I can be selfish if i want to but i can't sometimes. Looking back, I owe so much to the people in my life. Even if we do drift apart, just let me thank you from far away. My family, ayah, mama, abby, hanim, shakira, cousins, aunties, uncles, my dear friends and especially my Sya. I'll never be where I am today if it wasn't for you. Thank you so much for making me a better person.

Love,
Faiznur.